Spam Javelin hail from North Wales and are a band that need no introductions. Led by the seemingly ageless and ever active Neil Crud. Following on from the release of the incredible "The Crack Whores of Betws Garmon", we at Last Stop Sounds are privileged to get a sneak preview of their next offering - "Three Chords of The Apocalypse" which is scheduled for release in January 2021. It is with great anticipation that I look forward to hearing this.
I load up the tracks into the laptop and see that there are fifteen songs in just under half an hour so from the onset, this will be short, sharp and to the point. Included in the files sent to me is the lyric sheet which is ideal as I can get a sense of what Mr Crud is singing about.
Opening track in the delightfully titled 'Shit You Don't Need' and let’s be honest we've all bought crap and when we get home, take a step back we think to ourselves 'why the fuck did I buy that?' Well Spam Javelin address that issue. The first thing that strikes me about this song and all the consequent others, is just how much Neil sounds like Tristan O'Neill (Mutley McLad from The Macc Lads) with his vocal style and delivery. Musically they are different though. Shit You Don't need starts off slowly, driven by the bass and drums interspersed with the guitars before a break then the excellent sounding bass kicks in and ups the ante. The drums quicken and Neil almost talks us through life and all the things that are expected of us. "Go to school, Take exams. Go to Uni, Take drugs. Leave Uni, Get a job. Meet your soulmate, Have sex".
Herd Impunity follows on. A nice gentle intro, tuneful. Is it the calm before the storm? Kinda..... Again the pace quickens. The drums continue to pound away in the background in perfect harmony with the thunderous bass. The guitar throughout is not heavily distorted at all but it doesn't need to be, the tone is perfect. The track slows once more before being brought back up to speed.
Third track is God Bless America and no prizes for guessing what this is about. If you know anything about Spam Javelin, you'll be aware that they had some dates lined up in America but were refused entry by the US Border Team. To me is just highlights how fucked-up America is! Anyway, to the track..... Staccato-esque guitar begins the onslaught, cue long drum roll and we're away. This song has a lovely little chord change after the vocals which instantly gets my tired old head bopping along but it's in the chorus that the vocals really let rip and portray the band's disdain of America. Lyrics are obvious and some are possibly a little too terse to have here in print. You'll have to buy the CD to experience what we are talking about! In Neil's words 'How can this shitty little band be a threat to your gun totin’ land?' This lyric sums up again just how messed up America really is!
Children of the Shoe is a no-nonsense, straight in your face ear bashing that pounds away, repeatedly smacking you in the face. Fast, with perfectly timed little pauses. Neil sounds like he is in absolute agony as he screams out the lyrics. The second half of the song is sublime as the bass and drums relentlessly hammer out the same rhythm with some nifty little guitar overlaid on it before Mr Crud begins his torturous rants again and bringing the song to it's death throes. Excellent! Short, sharp, to the point.
The next track, We've Made Plans For Nigel instantly had me thinking is this some kind of witty response to XTC's Making Plans For Nigel but a quick read of the lyrics prior to listening assures me that it is anything but that! It's an attack one of our politicians. No need to guess which one. A slow, dirty and sleazy bass line by Tracey and Llion's excellent drum work on the kit help the band meander it's way through the quagmire of finalising what they would like to do with this particular politician. And I whole-heartedly agree. Subject matter won't be discussed here, again, I urge you to buy the CD.
You're A Sanctimonious Prick! All in, no long intros. The music rises and falls with grace prior to the vocals assaulting our drums. This song follows a seemingly running vein in the way that Spam Javelin construct their music. Fast, then slow, break downs and quick exits. Again to the point!
Now for a cover. Fuck You! From the lyric sheet, I've copied Mr Crud's writing "FUCK YOU is a song written by Gerry ‘Useless’ Hannah of Canadian punk band The Stiffs in 1978. His next band Subhumans released it in 1979. So have we." I had to go and check the original out first before listening to this re-working as the only other song I'd heard from The (Canadian) Subhumans was Slave To My Dick on the compilation Make Them Eat Jellybeans album (out many years ago on Alternative Tentacles record label) After hearing both versions I can say that Spam have nailed it, agreed they've up the ante and quickened the song but it doesn't detract from the original in any way. it's short, sharp and punchy, great job guys.
A reference to Joy Division follows on from Fuck You. Joy Division Tool is a sublime 34 seconds but wait....! Llion's drums kick off the intro and I'm taken back, not to Joy Division but Pssyche by Killing Joke. I'm half expecting Jazz to kickstart Geordies guitar into action but it doesn't happen. Instead Tracey offers up what sounds like (to me anyway) a Peter Hook inspired bass line which brings the song into a JD theme. Some nifty guitar work by Neil and clever lyrics "I love Ramones and Black Flag. It is tearing me apart." This song makes a reference to people who wear band t-shirts by bands that they haen't got a clue about. They wear the shirt because it's the trendy thing to do!
Super Twat is about the convicted ex-police chief Gordon Anglesea (twat) who was convicted and imprisoned for 12 years for sexually abusing vulnerable boys in the 1980's at a Home Office attendance centre for young offenders at a children's home. So no need to discuss what the lyrical content is about. Tracey begins the number... a slow, methodical bass driven track before it all kicks in for the chorus then dropping back down to bass and drums for the verse. As a foot-note, the bass tone on this track is superb!
The next song makes reference to the opening track of this rather brilliant CD. More Shit You Don't Need. Neil reminds us that society suggests we all need to get some false eyelashes and anal bleach, to name a few of our 'essential' buys and to post our success stories on social media platforms which sadly, seems to be a sad trait portrayed by many in today's society.
As the embers of the last track peter out and fade away and our eyes are starting to close, we are immediately and abruptly woken up by the cacophony of noise that is The Wonder Kids. Instantly recognizable as Rudimentary Peni in another guise. If I didn't know better I'd swear that it was Nick Blinko et al that I'm listening to. I love RP so of course, I love this track. A minute later, it's all over, as quickly and abruptly as it started. Class.
Tales of people falling by the wayside, people who once had that streak to resist convention, lost souls who now live 'happily' ever after with 2.6 kids in their nice suburbia are addressed by I Used To Be A Punk. Sadly this is all too true, we all have friends who were once rebellious and now vote Tory etc. But there is hope, Spam Javelin remind us that not everybody has changed.
Cogged Off follows on from I Used To Be A Punk and portrays just what happens when people lose their way somewhat and conform and become just another cog in the big wheel of society. There IS another way! There IS another life! Reminds me of the message that Crass used to get across, be yourself, don't be dictated to. My head nods involuntarily when the opening chords perforate my ear drums. Clever use of double-tracking the guitar as the crescendo builds before cutting out and allowing the bass and drums to once again drive the ensemble. As the end portion begins with the key change, another musical similarity is evident as this section is very similar in sound to the excellent Potential Victims.
Just in case you haven't got the message Even More Shit You Don't Need is a final reminder of what we all MUST have in our lives. Strap on chin dildos, tartan paint, scented bin bags and the latest Little Mix CD. Where would we be without these life essentials? Again the sound of this is akin to the great Rudimentary Peni. Spam may find this an odd similarity but I can only state what I hear and it is by no way any kind of criticism. it's very much a compliment.
And so we are at the end with the title track of the CD. Three Chords Of The Apocalypse and another (sorry guys) similarity. The first section of the song is very much a 'sound-a- like' to London's finest witchpunks, The Rites Of Hadda. Neil's guitar on this track could be Alex from Rites playing it. Tracey's bass ambles its way slowly with intermittent and excellent cymbal and bass drum work from Llion as the group slowly and definitively build the scene and create the mood. Almost dark and ethereal in it's melancholy. It's not until we're about a minute and a half before the vocals kick in, deliberate and sung in perfect harmony with the music. The last minute of this near four minute track is when the band pick up the pace, Rites of Hadda's own Alex-esque guitar evident in the background as the momentum and power become more and more prolific. Then we're done and as the last note fade away, I'm reaching forward to have a replay of this CD.
So there it is. The Three Chords Of The Apocalpyse by Spam Javelin. In a live scenario (Do we all remember what a gig feels like?) these guys deliver and having had the honour of sharing a stage with Spam Javelin I can verify that. Do they deliver the goods in a studio situation? Simple answer is yes. Overall this has been one of the best CD's I've reviewed recently and there have been a few good ones. The mix throughout is perfect as each individual element, bass, guitar, drums and vocals are blended perfectly, each element has clarity, nothing is lost. Musically there is not a weak song on the whole album, lyrically it is very clever and more importantly, the writing is not dated and it is very true to what is going on in this sometimes fucked up World we are living in. Highlight for me was God Bless America. I highly recommend getting a copy of this when it's released. Last Stop would like to thank Neil Crud for allowing us a sneak preview of the album. Stay safe and see you on a stage soon.
Words: DLW, Images: Spam Javelin Media, RBY, Johnny
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/spamjavelinuk
Bandcamp: https://spamjavelin.bandcamp.com/
Website: http://spamjavelinpunk.blogspot.com/
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